Abandonment can be one of our most hurtful experiences, especially early in life.
When a child either perceives they are abandoned or actually is abandoned by one or both parents they may never feel wanted or secure again. Their sense of belonging can be destroyed. Many of us grow into adulthood living as the abandoned child we feel we are. It can take a long time to be healed from the effects of abandonment, unless God enters our life’s story.
The God of Jesus Christ is omniscient; having infinite knowledge, knowing all things. Explore 1 Chronicles 28:9, Psalm 139:1-6, Psalm 147:5, Jeremiah 1:5, Hebrews 4:13, and 1 John 3:20.
He is also omnipresent, present in all places at the same time. “There are not parts of Him spread out in every location. Rather, everything is immediately in His presence. This should be a constant source of comfort, His presence may be experienced at any time or any place. No one can escape God’s notice.” (www.blueletterbible.org) Explore Psalms 139:7-12, Jeremiah 23:23, 24, Proverbs 15:3, and Hebrews 13:5.
So what does this conclude?
We are never unknown, unseen, or abandoned by God. He is always working to meet our every need. He always pursues us because He greatly desires that we be in a relationship with Him. He adopts us into His family through our belief and faith in Jesus Christ.
May the following prayer from the word of God help you find comfort and heal.
(From Lesson 23, Walking the 12 Steps with Jesus Christ)
You, O God, are a father of the fatherless, a judge and protector of widows. You have now placed me in a family, Your body, Your church, for all of the times that I have felt and still feel lonely, deserted, or ruined. (Psalm 68:5-6)
You are the helper to the fatherless, and whether I truly may have been forgotten and abandoned by my mother and/or my father or if I only perceive and feel that I was forgotten and abandoned by my mother and/or my father, (Psalm 10:14, Psalm 27:10) I now trust that You are able to now take me up, and adopt me as Your very own, You offer me adoption through my belief in, my trust in, and my reliance on Your Son Jesus. (John 1:12, Ephesians 1:5, Ephesians 2:19)
I thank You, God, that You have given me the opportunity to be led by Your Spirit and to be Your child. Help me believe, trust, and feel how dearly You love me. Thank you, God, that the Spirit I receive from You is not a spirit of slavery that puts and keeps me in bondage to fear—no! You have given me the spirit of adoption to receive—by which I may cry Father! Father! (Romans 8:14-16, Galatians 4:4-6)
Show me, help me to remember all those whom you have placed in and throughout my life to help and to care for me when I was in pain, sorrow, or need (James 1:27)—even if it seemed they were there by “chance” and just for an instant, for I now know that there is no chance with You because Your eyes are in every place, and I have never been hidden from Your sight because You fill the heavens and the earth. (Psalm 139:1-12, Jeremiah 23:23-24, Proverbs 15:3, Hebrews 4:13)
You tell me in Your word that You will not in any way fail me, nor give me up, nor leave me without support, You will not, You will not, You will not in any degree leave me helpless nor forget me nor let me down—You will not relax Your hold on me. (Hebrews 13:5)
Therefore, I desire that my mind, my will, and my emotions be transformed now, by the power of Your Spirit comforting and encouraging me. I desire to confidently and boldly believe and to from now on confess that You are my helper (Psalm 121 all); I will no longer be afraid and I now choose to be more willing than ever to forgive all those whom I have felt abandoned by that I may truly be set free.
In Jesus’ name, Amen.
How rewarding it is to walk with others through their recovery journey!
We wanted to share some helpful information about leading a support group based on our study guide, “Walking the 12 Steps with Jesus Christ.”
What are some characteristics of great groups?
• Focus remains on the subject
• Conflicts are managed as they arise
• Everyone feels valuable and comfortable when participating in discussions
• Members become a small community to support and encourage one another
• Members feel they share group ownership
• Members are able to respectfully hold each other accountable—when this is requested
What are some traits of great facilitators:
• Are committed, dependable, and love people
• Know the material well enough to apply to self and others
• Can be flexible, patient, friendly, and enthusiastic
• Are able to guide, model, encourage, and support
• Are great listeners and not afraid of silence
• Are able to stay on topic, enforce the Discussion Guidelines, and handle conflict
• Are able to encourage safe environments and harmony
We encourage facilitating rather than teaching, so what is the difference?
- Facilitating consists of: more active listening, lots of questions and discussion, leader participation and guidance, keeping the group as a whole the focus, and smaller number of members.
- Teaching consists of: the leader doing most of the talking, more lecturing and giving information, the leader is the focus, and larger number of members.
How do adults learn best?
• When they sense a need to cope with real-life situations
• When they take charge of their own learning through questions and discussing
Behavior is most likely to change when:
Adults can test and apply new knowledge and skills in their learning environment. This is why it is a good idea to practice Step Work whenever the group is willing. Step Work includes: identifying wrongs in the Step 4 inventory, sharing inventory in Step 5, doing the Soul Tie Breaking Prayer, Exercise for Confessing Sin, and Healing Memories in Steps 6 & 7, and practicing the Daily Personal Inventory in Step 10.
Be aware that:
• Adults approach new concepts with prior knowledge that may be unique to them. This knowledge can either help or inhibit new learning—sometimes we need to “un-learn” in order to learn.
• People make life choices based on how they receive and process information, how they feel, what they have experienced, and what is important to them. It is always wise to guard against making judgements.
• Group Facilitators are not expected to have the answer to every question!
• Our office is here to support and assist you. You are not alone. Feel free to contact us at firstname.lastname@example.org or email@example.com or call (352) 732-0877 with any questions or comments.
In John 8:31-32, Jesus tells us,
“You are truly my disciples if you remain faithful to my teachings. And you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.”
In John 14:6, during the last supper with his disciples, Jesus tells Thomas and those listening,
“I am the way, the truth, and the life. No one can come to the Father except through me.”
As an “overcomer” through Jesus, I am reminded of the days in my addiction when I willingly lived a lie. An addict plays a game in their own mind, changing reality to suit their own addicted fantasy. This game allows them to remain in their addiction, living in complete deception.
Living a lie produces nothing except a deeper rut that will eventually become a grave.
The One who said, “I am the way, the truth, and the life,” is also the One who said, “…And you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.”
Jesus does not say that the truth may set you free.
He says that the truth will set you free.
Jesus tells us the way to both gain and retain the truth. After his last supper with his disciples, Jesus was crucified and buried, but that was not the end. He rose again to sit at the right hand of God the Father Almighty.
In John 16:12-13 Jesus tells his disciples before he leaves the earth, “There is so much more I want to tell you, but you can’t bear it now. When the Spirit of truth comes, he will guide you into all truth…” Jesus had to leave so the Spirit of truth could come (John 16:7) to dwell within us.
Prayer: Thank you, Father, for your Holy Spirit who guides and leads us to the real, genuine TRUTH…JESUS, our protector, provider, and healer of our addictions, bad behaviors, and anything else that interferes with our relationship with HIM.
During the months of August and September 2016 we had 628 inmates request our study guide, “Walking the 12 Steps with Jesus Christ.” Friends, this is entirely because of the testimonies of men and women within correctional facilities to each other.
Clearly, “Walking the 12 Steps with Jesus Christ” is having an impact on the lives of incarcerated men and women!
In 2015 we began diligently seeking how to improve our program. We are thrilled to announce that very soon we will see our first fruits.
In January 2017, our study guide will include:
- Additional brief, yet effective methods for Inner Healing in Step 7
- Improved instructions for Bible Study and Biblical Journaling
- Further explanation of fear as the underlying cause of many of our problems
- Additional instructions for the Daily Moral Inventory in Step 10
In an attempt to expand our reach outside of Correctional Facilities:
“Walking the 12 Steps with Jesus Christ” would be great as a Small Group study. A new, improved Facilitator’s Guide will also be available.
We believe this new Facilitator’s Guide is exactly what is needed to remove fear and help a facilitator establish a Small Group for those seeking to overcome any substance abuse, emotional stronghold, or codependency. Drug and alcohol use are increasing, but so are anxiety, worry, fear, depression, and loneliness.
Life is complicated. Many are suffering. No one is exempt.
The answer is a relationship with Jesus Christ.
When I was a young preacher, one of my heroes was Vance Havner. I would like to share a word from his book, Thoughts Along the Way.
A man asked a little boy, “How did you learn to skate so well?” “By gittin’ up every time I fell down,” he replied. Moses swelled up once and said, “This is me,” and he fell; Elijah could lock up the clouds and carry the keys in his pocket, but he got scared at a woman and ran as fast as his legs could carry him to the tall timber. Peter said, “I’ll be the last man to deny you, Jesus,” but before a rooster could crow twice he was cussing and swearing that he never knew Him.
The man who fails is not the man who falls, but the man who lies where he fell.
To everyone in recovery – should you ever relapse, my encouragement is to get back up! Refuse to lie where you fell! Through a relationship with Jesus Christ, you have all the strength needed to arise and walk with Him.
“Christ Jesus who died…is at the right hand of God and is also interceding for us. Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall trouble or hardship or persecution or famine or nakedness or danger or sword…No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through Him who loved us.”—Romans 8:34-37
During the months of May, June, and July 2016 study guides were requested as follows:
- 10 to Oregon
- 50 to West Virginia
- 10 to Indiana
- 35 to Oklahoma
- 25 to New Mexico
- 25 to New York
- 40 to Michigan
- 5 to California
- 93 within Florida
We received 567 requests for our study guide from inmates and 157 Completion Certificates were issued.
Please keep the last phase of our ministry branding, our new website, and our study guide revision in your prayers.
You’re Invited, Complimentary Breakfast
Please join us on Wednesday, August 17, 2017 at 8:00 am at Denny’s Restaurant located at 3801 W. Silver Springs Blvd., Ocala. Our Special Guest will be Rev. Michael Beck, Lead Pastor at Wildwood UMC.
Michael believes in the transforming power of Jesus Christ, which he has experienced in his own life. He has organized several community movements, one of which was Recover Ocala. At Wildwood and New Covenant UMC, he directs addiction recovery programs, a jail ministry, a food pantry, and several fresh expressions of church that meet in places like tattoo parlors and burrito joints.
Come here what we’ve been up to and be encouraged.
God–the Author of Success
I remind those in recovery of these Biblical truths:
- We have unlimited potential through His Spirit.
“And you are in Him, made full and having come to fullness of life [in Christ you, too, are filled with the Godhead–Father, Son, and Holy Spirit…”–Colossians 2:10 Amplified Bible
- Through Christ, God has made available all the resources we need to accomplish more than we could ever ask or imagine.
“Now to Him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to His power that is at work within us…be glory…forever and ever!”–Ephesians 3:20-21
Remember what God told Jeremiah,
“Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, before you were born I set you apart; I appointed you as a prophet to the nations.”–Jeremiah 1:5
God had a plan for Jeremiah before he was born. I believe He has a plan for you. Before our Sovereign, All-Knowing God formed you in your mother’s womb, He had a plan for you personally.
Have you truly sought God about His plan for you?
Step 12 teaches the recovering addict that in order to keep what he has received he must carry the message of recovery to others. God will not allow you to fail. God will water every seed you sow and see that it grows.
Success with God is continually giving our bodies to Him because of all He has done for you…continually refusing to copy the behavior and customs of this world, and continually allowing God to transform you into a new person by changing the way you think. (Romans 12:1-2)
Embrace God–the Author of YOUR Success
Last night I was reminded through a message delivered at our church that God has a PURPOSE and an IRREVOCABLE CALL on every person He creates. That was quite a challenging open statement to hear. Then the speaker proceeded to mention the call on Adam, Moses, Abraham , Issac, Paul, etc.
And of course Jonah became the primary reference of God’s purpose and His call on each of us individually. Nineveh? Where is that? Some of us can readily identify with Jonah. I for one disobeyed God and the devil convinced me that the call God had on my life had been revoked due to choices I had made. He spared me the experience of the giant fish. However…
Many of you know….the rest of the story… Abbie and I purchased property in those beautiful Smokey Mountains and built our dream house and was enjoying looking across the mountain tops as we rested in those comfortable rocking chairs. But…a letter came saying we need you back in Florida.
Yes…we came and for the past 11 plus years Abbie and I have been thrust into a ministry that we never thought about needless to say planned to do. God’s call on our lives had purpose and was irrevocable and I praise Him for the joy and peace we have in service to Him.
What is your PURPOSE??? What is the IRREVOCALBLE CALL on your life???
God is good all the time…
…all the time God is good!!!
Do you remember one of the first prayers we learned as kids? “God is great, God is GOOD, let us thank Him for our food. By His hands we all are fed. Give us Lord, our daily bread. Amen.”
Then we were introduced to the song “God is so good, God is so good, God is so good, He is so good to me.”
In Psalm 100:5 -we read, “For the Lord is good; his mercy is everlasting; and his truth endureth to all generations.”
Throughout the Bible we are reminded of the goodness of God. As we study the attributes of God we realize it is His very nature to be good.
Because God is good and full of mercy we receive the benefits of His goodness. Upon our repentance we are not only forgiven but we are granted a pardon, “old things pass away all things become new”. Our pastor recently stated that a born again believer has no past.
In His goodness we have access to Him. We can pray to God and He not only hears our prayers He answers each prayer. Oftentimes we consider a prayer unanswered because God does not do exactly what we ask Him to do.
For me at times the reason He doesn‘t give me the answer I desire is because of His goodness. He has something better. He see the whole picture from the “beginning to the end“.
Another great benefit of His goodness is the gift of His Holy Spirit to live in us that we may have fellowship with God at all times. The fellowship is realized as a result of His presence. It is a trust relationship that assures us that regardless of what happens the results will reveal His goodness.
The goodness of God is not always visible to us. Difficult times come and bad situations cause bad things to happen to us. In these times we face problems. Disappointments come and we find ourselves in a deep valley. We question the goodness of God. If God is good why am I experiencing bad times?
If God is good why did my mother die of a heart attack at the young age of 63? If God is good why are so many people being tortured and beheaded today because of their allegiance to their faith in God?
If God is good why are we facing such tragedies across our state, our nation our world? Why are bad things happening to good people? Again I am reminded that when God created this world He said “It is good”.
Could it be that God allows valleys so He can build mountains in our lives? Yes, God is in charge. In fact the Bible teaches us that He is the Sovereign God.
The little boy was lying on the floor and he looked up to see what Grandma had in her lap. She was sewing away doing a cross stitch design. The grandson said to his grandma “that is the ugliest thing I have ever seen.”
Grandma invited him to stand up and look over her shoulder. As he looked at the design of the cross-stitching from the top view he did not see the knots and the hanging strands of thread. He quickly stated “Grandma that is one of the most beautiful pictures I have ever seen.”
I am not trying to be pious or pharisaical but it takes some knots and hanging threads, the good and bad things that happens, for God to create the person He knew would make the best person you could ever be. I know it is hard for some of us to believe that God is creating a beautiful person but He is.
If it is not good it did not come from our good God. He alone is the source for good not bad. In His wisdom He allows situations that seem to be bad and from that experience we are molded into an individual that exhibits the goodness of God.
The main problem is we use the wrong standard for goodness. We adhere to the standard of goodness set by the world. Goodness today is measured by what is good for me.
Let me encourage you to submit to and trust the One that is the source of all goodness. He will never let you down. It does not mean that you will never experience bad things. It simply means that He is able to take the bad things and demonstrate His power to cause the bad to become eternally good.
God is good all the time…
All the time God is good!!!
Tribute to Brother Mickey Evans, Dunklin Memorial Church, Okeechobee, Florida
My Mentor and Friend: Mickey Evans
January 8, 1932- August 22, 2014
The following was written by Joan Warren
“Has anybody told you today?”
“Well, just in case, I’m telling you again: I love you.”
It was his trademark; his brand, calling card. If you saw Mickey, you could count on hearing these words. You could count on a hug and a smile. If not from him directly, from many around you, as he facilitated groups and classes to “get up, tell someone you love them, hug a neck.”
He was the Cowboy Preacher. The Drunk Preacher, some called him. He’d chuckle. I doubt he’d ever had a drop of alcohol in his life.
He sought out drunks, with a purpose, to share God’s amazing love.
(That was back in the day, before political correctness and biochemical studies taught us to call drunks “people with alcoholism,” which, yes, is a gentler, kinder term, no harm ever intended by using the old word.)
In 1962, Mickey ventured into the snake- and alligator-infested backwoods, near the deep south’s Lake Okeechobee, cleared some land about ten miles down a bumpy dirt road, hauled in some used rustic cabins and created a place for drunks to sober up. His idea, to provide not just a bed to sleep it off, but a place where hard work meets prayer, and confrontational truth-speaking-in-love results in changed men. A City of Refuge. His hard work had just begun.
His idea grew. Today, Dunklin Memorial is an internationally-renowned center for people overcoming drug and alcohol addiction. It can boast recidivism rates far better than those of centers catering to the rich and famous. It is also a place where families of people with addiction can recover and transform. It is a ministry training and retreat center. It is a church, where the body of Christ is people using their gifts and abilities to help one another, rather than a building sitting empty all week. It is the center hub of a circle of half-way houses, home and community support groups. Cottage industries, like cattle farming, orange groves, and pallet recycling, give residents hard work to do and help the program be self-supportive. It is a model center that is willing to share its success secrets freely to any who want to replicate it in their part of the world. Its curriculum is translated into several languages.
That says a little something about this man, the Drunk Preacher, Mickey Evans. There is so much more to say. Words are inadequate, but in an attempt to describe him, I would choose words like
and, most importantly,
loving, honest, and relational.
He continued to grow and adapt throughout his life, deepening his understanding of the recovery process and the need for transformation for leaders, helpers and addicts alike. He was the guru of the Daily Moral Inventory, a mirror to check and accept responsibility for your attitudes each day. He taught us to take the finger that so easily points at others (“but it’s all your fault”) and turn it (though it fights all the way) to point at ourselves (the only one we can change, after all). He taught us to use all of our capacities, including our senses, inner vision, imagination and even open eyes and ears when we pray, for God is in us, around us, and in our loved ones as well. God may speak to us from any of these sources. He worked toward responsibility in all areas, including sustainable agriculture, clean water, ecologically sound waste management and understanding cultural diversity.
“How old is that little boy?” –another trademark question. “Now take the cotton out of your ears and put it in your mouth.” Only Mickey could get away with speaking this way to a defensive, angry man who needed to hear it. He could say it, with authority–a shocking blend of firmness and gentleness–and the hardest head would break down and listen.
When I met him, back in the eighties, I was a twenty-something transplant from Washington, D. C., all fired up for ministry training. I remember being amazed at Mickey’s servant-leadership style, but I was also a bit afraid of him! When his lip quivered and his grin bared his teeth, I held onto my seat, for someone was about to get a dose of truth. I had never witnessed a christian leader being confrontational before. It impressed me and scared me at the same time! Yet he was kind. And wise. Under his honest leadership, I learned to face my fears, and I grew up. By the time I graduated, I faced life with a new awareness, in large part due to Mickey Evans. I was aware of my ongoing need to heal and grow, aware of the value of relationships as a measure of recovery, aware of the complexities of life transformation. I was willing to be a facilitator of change for those who wanted to change. I learned to accept each person’s decisions as their own.
“I cannot change another person by direct action. I can only change myself, and that by the grace of God.”
This was Mickey’s mantra, which he lovingly entitled “The Bombshell Theory,” because “it’ll blow your mind.” It really does.
Mickey modeled health in family relationships. “This is my beloved wife, in whom I am well-pleased,” he would say, introducing his wife, Laura Maye. When families joined the men in the program each weekend, Mickey facilitated positivity, respect and appreciation for loved ones. Men responded to his example and held themselves accountable to making amends, to loving and respecting, where once they used, lied, stole and projected blame. Marriages rekindled.
As he aged, Mickey seemed at peace with gradually raising up leaders to take over his job. He used to quote Jesus, “greater works shall ye do. . .” His long-range planning to prepare others to carry on his work was nothing short of genius. It must have been challenging for him to let go of his baby, but he rested easy, trusting the One who had begun a good work to carry it through to completion. Mickey’s style of trust was practical, though: he planned, prepared, reeled in, and let loose, over and over again, until he knew he’d done all he could do.
Brother Mickey Evans passed this week, after a long life, shining brightly. His light stems from, and moves into, eternity. As one candle bows to light another, light spreads exponentially, filling the earth.
Brother Mickey, we will miss you here. We thank you for your amazing gifts and dedication. We are grateful to carry on this light; to be torch-bearers, humbly and quietly sharing life, transformed by love. Enjoy your new place; we’ll see you again soon.
Dear reader, has anybody told you today?
Well, just in case, I’m telling you again, I love you!
Pass it on ~
©Joan T. Warren
Heart to Heart in a Shielded World